Droid Talks: Get Romantic with Android

Prior to the 21^st century, nerds and geeks were often ridiculed and left dateless. Now that technology is the lifeblood of society, those outcasts from the 90’s are getting the action they could only dream of before. Today, geek is chic – from nerdy glasses, to sporting Mario Brother’s nail polish designs.

For those who have perfected the chic but are still lack luster in the romance department, Android can help. The posers are easily separated from the true nerds and geeks and in this case, can give you the upper hand. As a geeky girl, there is nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around a command prompt.  Now as many of you know, this makes me the exception to the rule. However, any self respecting girl worth your time should at least own an Android device. How can you work this angel to your benefit?

The first step is to know your Android from your iPhone. For most of you this should be a synch. Once you have sent the sheep to pasture, it is time to make your move. To spark up the conversation, throw out any Android device and ask “Hey, is that a Samsung SGSIII?” There are only two available responses to this: “yes” or “no”. Either way, it is a good opening to find out more about her style, and what you can do for her.

If you were able to determine her phone model right off the bat, the next question is easy, “are you rooted.” She is either going to look at you like you’re crazy, or look up with a sparkle in her eye that says “oh yes, speak geek to me baby.” Warning: The later response is likely to be rare, so be prepared to explain yourself.

Be Prepared

1. Before you approach the lady, remove the nekkid anime girl from your background and replace it with something more tasteful.
2. If your ringtone has the words b!t%@, c*#$t, $lu%, or any other offensive words, it would be wise to change it. Romantic Love Ringtone has some tones to really set the mood (including a titanic remix)
3. If you don’t have it already (due to a rapid growth of ORD and forgetting to restore your apps), install Tapatalk, Forum Runner, or your favorite Android site forum app. This will help you give quick advice to her if you have never worked with her phone before.

Make Your Move

If she is one of those rare girls who already hangs out in IRC, 4Chan, and Google Search then you can breathe and rest easy. All you need to do now is be careful not to spill your drink on her “I love Android” tee or trip over your tongue as you complement her nice, big… uh… screen.

If she is like most girls out there, you will have to put some effort into this. She probably has no idea what “root”, “Cyanogen”, or “Clockworkmod” is so don’t be afraid to speak geek to her…do try to leave out the jargon however.

1. You want to try and keep her entertained. I am the only geek out of my IRL friends, and I have a tendency to bore them with the details. To explain root, you might outline the benefits by demonstrating how themeing works. Having a ROM with the T-Mobile Theme Engine built in is a big help here. Ask what her favorite color is, search for a CM theme, and install it to your device. For those non-tech users, making their phone look pretty is probably the most useful part of root.
2. If you have not lost her by now, and she is intrigued by your way with words and binaries. Look her phone up on XDA or Rootzwiki. Offer to help root her phone to get her started.  Remember to downplay the technical aspects, and try to keep things “blonde-friendly.” I know it’s hard to keep in the jokes that gave you life on Twitter, but for loves sake, leave them for the tweets. Geek may be chic, but geek speak can sometimes cause to girl to glance at her time clock every few minutes.
3. If she agrees, you may want to use this opportunity to ask for her number and make a date. Leave her hanging and wanting more….the tried but true saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” comes to mind here.

Once you have had that second date, rooted her phone, and gave her a taste of what a real man is like, it’s time to whip out the big guns. Download Recipes not only for valentine, and cook nice romantic meal for two. If you do not have a fireplace or smart TV, the Fireplace and Campfire app will help provide the perfect ambiance. If all goes well, you may need to brush up on your kissing with the How to Kiss Guide.

If romance is not your forte, don’t worry; Google has it covered. Great Romantic Ideas will help keep that spark alive, and maybe even land you a girlfriend.

This guide is not meant to replace common sense and should be used at sparingly. I will not be held responsible for drinks in your face, lawsuits due to bricked phones, or rashes occurring from nervousness.